I'm not naive, at least not in the sense that church planting is going to be difficult. I know it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I just didn't expect the hard part to be up front.
I've been at a church for 11 years, living, loving and sharing in fellowship with this church body. For me it seems a natural conclusion then that when we decided to go plant a new church, that this family here would send us out. And not just support us financially, but rather send us out with shouts of joy and blessing over our new work. As we converse with the leadership it seems that may not be the case and that pains me. It causes anxiety like I've never known. It is effecting me physically and emotionally. You see when I think about church planting I fully expect heartache when those who don't know Christ decide to reject truth. I didn't expect heartache when those who have known Christ their entire adult lives decide to reject our way of sharing truth.
Maybe I'm a bit narcissistic. Maybe I was wrong to assume that they would trust our judgement when it comes to assessing the culture around us and weighing it carefully against the traditions of our faith background and the truths of scripture to come up with a viable solution. Maybe I was wrong to think that we are mature enough to plant a church. Maybe I don't care enough about the established church. Maybe my desire for seeking out the lost of this world has warped my perspective on my role in loving those who are already saved. Maybe, but I don't think so.
Even as I re-read that last paragraph I realize how hard it is to not take things personally. I know that this is not about ME, as an individual, but rather their own personal convictions and how that effects the way they lead the church. I grew up in a church that had divisions among the members and I failed to see how they were living out Jesus' last prayer for unity. So when something this close to my heart comes into contact with something so painful from my past it is hard to separate the logic from the emotion.
The emotion says, give up. Forget supported church planting and be a tent maker like Paul. Give up the dream of planting many churches and settle for living in community and sharing Christ with those that I meet daily, not for the sole purpose of church planting but instead the Christian responsibility of disciple making.
And then wisdom comes in the form of a text message that simply states, "Keep hanging in there. In the end you know who you are battling for. Battling against is an impoverishing position."
And so you go back to the drawing board.
I've been at a church for 11 years, living, loving and sharing in fellowship with this church body. For me it seems a natural conclusion then that when we decided to go plant a new church, that this family here would send us out. And not just support us financially, but rather send us out with shouts of joy and blessing over our new work. As we converse with the leadership it seems that may not be the case and that pains me. It causes anxiety like I've never known. It is effecting me physically and emotionally. You see when I think about church planting I fully expect heartache when those who don't know Christ decide to reject truth. I didn't expect heartache when those who have known Christ their entire adult lives decide to reject our way of sharing truth.
Maybe I'm a bit narcissistic. Maybe I was wrong to assume that they would trust our judgement when it comes to assessing the culture around us and weighing it carefully against the traditions of our faith background and the truths of scripture to come up with a viable solution. Maybe I was wrong to think that we are mature enough to plant a church. Maybe I don't care enough about the established church. Maybe my desire for seeking out the lost of this world has warped my perspective on my role in loving those who are already saved. Maybe, but I don't think so.
Even as I re-read that last paragraph I realize how hard it is to not take things personally. I know that this is not about ME, as an individual, but rather their own personal convictions and how that effects the way they lead the church. I grew up in a church that had divisions among the members and I failed to see how they were living out Jesus' last prayer for unity. So when something this close to my heart comes into contact with something so painful from my past it is hard to separate the logic from the emotion.
The emotion says, give up. Forget supported church planting and be a tent maker like Paul. Give up the dream of planting many churches and settle for living in community and sharing Christ with those that I meet daily, not for the sole purpose of church planting but instead the Christian responsibility of disciple making.
And then wisdom comes in the form of a text message that simply states, "Keep hanging in there. In the end you know who you are battling for. Battling against is an impoverishing position."
And so you go back to the drawing board.
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