Skip to main content

Deflated?


When you dream and you dream big it takes a lot of courage.  

When we went to Discovery Lab (April 2010), and then to Strategy Lab (September 2011) with the Kairos Church Planting Network it was with two goals in mind.  First, my husband and I believe in Church planting and we want to be a part of supporting it in a big way.  Second, we want our home church to be a church planting church.  We dreamed big partly because we had the backing of a relationship built over 14 years of ministry with this church.  We thought that together we could do great things for God's Kingdom.  Not once in our years of dreaming did we ever picture heading out on this adventure of church planting without our home church.  So when the recent turn of events changed our foundation we were left with half of a dream and a lot of questions.  Primarily "Where do we go from here?"


Half of a dream is not much of a dream at all... or so it seems.

While on one hand it's emotionally exhausting and very frustrating, on the other hand it's very freeing.  We knew that there would be bumps along the way and that this journey to planting a new church would be difficult.  It gives us the freedom to look at our lives without the expectation of what anyone else thinks or feels and determine what is best for the Kingdom and what is best for our family.
In our ten years of marriage, we've never had to make a decision together this big before.  The chance to start with a clean slate, to dream big again but in a different way.  How do we view this half a dream?  The end of the road, or just the beginning?  I've always been a "glass full" kind of person, so while I've taken some time to emotionally grieve this change of circumstance, I think it's important to keep our perspective.  No one is paying me to make disciples.  No one but me determines my answer to God's call.  The relationships of 14 years are still there no matter whether they partner with us or not.  We have the love of our family and the security of serving a Great God.  I choose to see this half of a dream as the opportunity for growth. 


 I choose to look at the glass as being half full....
And the exciting news is, my God wants to fill it to overflowing!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What a Difference a Year Makes...

I looked at this blog and realized that I wrote the last post exactly one year ago today. What a difference a year can make. We are not in San Jose. We are not in San Jose because God called us to a different home. Weed, California. "What? Weed?" you say! Yes, When we were but four short months from packing our home and moving to San Jose, God in his quiet way told us He had a different plan. Not the big city, but the small town.  Not the dense & diverse population, but the small & hurting population.  Not the grand plans of a church plant, but the grounded plans of a church revitalization. Not my will, but Thine. So one year later we are settled into the parsonage, next to the building nestled at the base of the beautiful Mount Shasta. We have chickens in our back yard and temperatures that drop below freezing. Though it is not the plan we had for ourselves, it is truly a plan laid out and blessed by God. I am affirmed in this every time a new person steps fo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Short Night~Long Day

It was a short night. For reasons that will go unnamed I only got about five hours of sleep last night. If you know me at all, that is not enough.  Today will be a very long day. It seems that things often go this way.     Yesterday was a very fulfilling, productive and relaxing day. I got the house cleaned, I made some important phone calls, and I prepped crock pot meals for our very busy evenings this week. So, of course, because yesterday was incredibly kind, today will show me my desperate need for Jesus (and coffee). Does this happen to you? Does this cycle repeat in your life as well? Sometimes it takes longer than 24 hours for my cycle to repeat. Sometimes it happens by season, but inevitably it happens. It happens because that is life. It's very cliche to say, but it's true. I look at the book of Ecclesiastes for my encouragement at times like this. It's so easy to cling to the lows and the statement of "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meani...
Post a Comment
Read more

I love this job

I love my job. This afternoon as I ate lunch with my children I told them of one of our supporters who has a very painful and terminal type of cancer.  It's heart breaking. However as I was able to tell my kids about our job, our privilege, our joy in praying for her I was reminded of how much I love this "job". What greater task than supporting and loving a man who is dedicated to the Kingdom of God? What greater joy than to teach and train our children in loving and serving our Great God?  What greater task than to be prayer warriors for our brothers and sisters in Christ & to share His love with those around us? It's not a job with pay, or benefits, or any written contracts and expectations. It's a job I unknowingly accepted at the tender age of 13 when I was baptized into Christ. It's a job that many look at an shun for it's seemingly lowly position, or perceived naivety. However it is the hardest most difficult job anyone will undertake. The ete...
Post a Comment
Read more