Where to plant?
If this were a question of gardening, I would have easy answers such as "in direct sunlight", or "partial shade". But it's not, and I don't have any easy answers. In fact they are too difficult to comprehend. You see we have so many factors to figure in.We need to balance the needs of our family as well as the needs of the people around us. We need to figure in the sponsoring church and where we might be most successful. These are not easy things to figure out.
One survey trip and I already feel a little more secure in the decision. Each time we narrow it down some it makes me feel a bit more at ease. You see, I can create a "home" anywhere, I just need to know where that is in order to let my mind adjust to it ahead of time.
The other day my oldest missionary came to me asking why we had not built a chicken coop in our back yard yet. I explained to her that we would eventually be moving so there was no point to starting to raise chickens. We don't know if we will be able to take them with us, so I'd hate for the kids to get attached to them and then have to leave them behind. After explaining this she understood, but also broke down in tears over the thought of moving somewhere that might not allow chickens.
She's so much like me. You see it's not the chickens that cause the tears, it's the unknown. The fear that stems from "insecurity". I held her letting her know that the important thing is that we will all be together. It doesn't matter where we live, as long as we have each other we will be fine. That's a hard concept for a 7 year old to understand. Shoot, it's a hard concept for this 33 year old mom who is saying it to her 7 year old to understand.
Two years ago at discovery lab one of the things that came up in our interviews was that I wanted stability for my family. As the interviewers prayed over us and then were leaving the room, one woman said to me... "Amy, do me a favor. Ask yourself this question. What is stability? And can that definition be adjusted?" Then she left the room. That was two years ago and I still struggle with that question.
And yet I feel like I have redefined "stability" to some degree. I feel very secure in who we are as a family, and certainly feel secure in the message we bring to the world around us. I feel secure in our calling to plant new churches. I will feel more secure once we have a place selected, but even that is in God's hands. I feel secure knowing that God will raise up our seed team to surround us with love, support and encouragement.
There are so many promises in the Bible from our Great God. Promises that say that no matte what you go through He is there, guiding, protecting, loving, supporting. He never promises us an easy life. In fact he tells us it will be just the opposite. In this life we will have trouble, but He tells us not to worry because He has overcome the world. That my friends is security.
So, where will we go? I'm still not sure yet. But I know this; that wherever we go, He goes before us.
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